For many people, criticism or hearing the word “no” can feel like a physical sting, a personal rejection that triggers a powerful stress response. A clinical psychologist explains how to reframe your perception of criticism, allowing you to absorb valuable information without the emotional and physiological pain.
Our society’s focus on success and validation can make us overly sensitive to any form of negative feedback. We link our self-worth to our performance, so any critique of our work can feel like a critique of our entire being. This personalization is what causes the “sting.”
This emotional reaction has a physiological counterpart. The body releases stress hormones, muscles tense up, and we enter a defensive state. This not only feels bad but also makes it impossible to actually listen to and learn from the feedback being given.
To reframe criticism, you must decouple the information from your ego. The expert suggests focusing on the “what,” not the “who” or “how.” What is the core message? What can I learn from this? By approaching feedback with curiosity instead of defensiveness, you can prevent the stress response. This skill, which the psychologist calls increasing your “appetite for critical feedback,” is a cornerstone of professional maturity and personal resilience.